A TRUE FRIEND

A TRUE FRIEND “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” (Prov 17:17)

Let us prayerfully consider what this verse means.

“A friend loves at all times” - The love of a true friend is not seasonal but is real every day of the year. It does not depend upon wealth or popularity. A true friend’s love is constant whether you are in a position of power or in prison. A true friend will be faithful until death.

“A brother is born for adversity” - This is obviously a reference to a brother in the Lord and not your physical brother. Our physical brothers are not always helpful. Cain, for example, killed his brother (Gen. 4:8). Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery (Gen. 37:23-25). Jesus warned that a man’s foes would be in his own household (Matt. 10:36). Brothers in the Lord, however, are spiritual brothers. They will not abandon you in times of adversity. Jesus referred to this kind of brother when He said: “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matt. 12:50).

Jonathan and David were true friends. “Jonathan became one with David, and he loved him as himself” (1 Sam. 18:1). They were also true brothers in a spiritual sense. When Jonathan died David composed a song to lament his death. In that song he identified Jonathan as a spiritual brother: “I grieve for you Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me” (2 Sam. 1:26). Their love and loyalty to one another as friends and brothers never failed. Adversity did not drive them apart. In fact, it brought them closer together. True brothers are born for adversity!

David was the youngest son in the family of Jesse. Jonathan was the oldest son in the family of Saul. Both had expectations of being king. David expected to be king because he was anointed to be king by Samuel (1 Sam. 16:13). Jonathan expected to be king because he was the oldest son and heir apparent of his father’s throne. They should have been rivals and enemies, but they were not! Both David and Jonathan loved the Lord more than they loved themselves or their earthly families! This is the kind of love that everyone needs to have!

Both of these men were courageous warriors. David distinguished himself by killing Goliath (1 Sam. 17). Jonathan distinguished himself by singlehandedly attacking the Philistines at Micmash (1 Sam. 14).

The first meeting recorded in Scriptures between these two men is in 1 Sam. 18:1: “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.” This “instant bonding” was solidified by three different covenants which grew out of their friendship:

(1) “And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.” (1 Sam 18:3-4)

(2) Later Jonathan promised to protect David from his father and said: “But show me unfailing kindness like that of the LORD as long as I live, so that I may not be killed, and do not ever cut

off your kindness from my family-- not even when the LORD has cut off every one of David's enemies from the face of the earth." So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, "May the LORD call David's enemies to account." And Jonathan made David reaffirm his oath out of love for him, because he loved him as he loved himself.” (1 Sam 20:14-17)

(3) Still another covenant is described with these words: “And Saul's son Jonathan went to David at Horesh and helped him to find strength in God. "Don't be afraid," he said. "My father Saul will not lay a hand on you. You shall be king over Israel, and I will be second to you. Even my father Saul knows this." The two of them made a covenant before the LORD. Then Jonathan went home, but David remained at Horesh.” (1 Sam 23:16-18) Please note that Jonathan accepted the fact that David was anointed to be the king of Israel while his father Saul did not!

A friend loves at all times! David and Jonathan were friends when everything was going well. They were also friends when things were not going well. As the Scriptures say “A brother is born for adversity.” In fact, it was during the tough times that their friendship was the most important. David once confided to Jonathan: “as surely as the LORD lives and as you live, there is only a step between me and death.” (1 Sam 20:3). Ironically, however, it was Jonathan who died first. As we have already said, when David heard about his death he composed a “lament” and ordered that it be taught to the men of Judah (See 2 Sam. 1:17-27). And again, as we have said, that sad song contains this beautiful tribute to a fallen friend and brother: “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” (2 Sam 1:26)

LEAVING FATHER AND MOTHER

• God established the family! It is a key building block for a strong nation! Commandment
• 5 in the Ten Commandments states: “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Ex. 20:12). Paul notes that this is the “first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Eph. 6:2-3). Honoring parents is important and foundational to the longevity of a nation! When children fail to honor their parents a nation is only a generation away from disaster. “When the righteous thrive, the people rejoice; when the wicked rule, the people groan” (Prov. 29:2). It is “wicked” for a child not to honor his parents, and “wicked rulers” caused the Israelites to be carried away into captivity.

While children must always honor their parents, there is a time when a man is to “leave his father and mother and be united with his wife.” (Gen. 2:24) Yes! A married man must still honor his father and mother, but when a man gets married his primary allegiance is to his wife.

A similar situation faces the person who decides to follow Jesus. Yes! A Christian must still honor his earthly family, but his primary allegiance is to Christ. Jesus said: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” (Matt. 10:37-39).

Any man who obeys Jesus, however, will never abandon or mistreat his family. The Scriptures are clear: “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (1 Tim. 5:8)

Do you see this principle? When we transfer the ownership of our loved ones to Jesus we treat them better than we have ever treated them before! Our loyalty to Jesus causes us to even love our enemies (Lk. 6:27-36), certainly Jesus wants us to love our families. In fact, “Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Col. 3:17)

YOU CAN BE A FRIEND OF GOD

Remember! Anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God (Ja. 4:4). Abraham chose to be a friend of God (2 Chron. 20:7; Is. 43:8; Ja. 2:23). We too can choose to be a friend of God. Jesus explained the difference between a friend and a servant: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” (Jn. 15:13-15) “The secret things belong to the Lord our God” (Deut. 29:29), but God reveals things to His friends that He does not reveal to others.

Take, for example, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. The sins of these wicked cities was so great that God determined to destroy them. The Lord said: “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?” (Gen. 18:17) The answer was “no”! Abraham was a friend of God! Just as we confide in a friend, so also does God. So God confided in His friend Abraham what He was planning to do to Sodom and Gomorrah. What happened next is remarkable. Abraham, the friend of God, approached God and negotiated with Him in an effort to save those wicked cities from destruction. (See Gen. 18:22-33) Abraham bargained with God like one friend bargains with another. Ultimately, Abraham received a commitment from God that if only ten righteous people were found in Sodom God would not destroy it (Gen. 18:32). Sadly, there were not even ten righteous people in Sodom!

Enoch was also a friend of God. He spent a lot of time walking with God! Enoch was such a good friend that God took him to heaven before he died (Gen. 5:21-24). The book of Hebrews reveals that their close friendship was based on faith: “By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God” (Heb. 11:5).

Enoch obviously spent a lot of time with God! If you want to be a friend of God then you obviously will want to spend a lot of time with Him!

WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS!

Joseph Scriven wrote the beautiful hymn “What a Friend We have in Jesus”. Perhaps the hymn will be even more meaningful when you know something of Scriven’s life. It was a life of devotion, but also a life with great sadness and difficulties. Joseph Scriven was born in Ireland in 1819. He

graduated from Trinity College in Dublin in 1842. He was planning to get married in 1843 but his fiancé died by drowning the night before their wedding. It is difficult to imagine such a loss but this was only one of many sorrows.

In 1844, at the age of 25, Joseph felt called by God to be a missionary to Canada. As such, he devoted himself to the cause of the poor and the needy. In 1857 he fell in love again. This was 14 years after the loss of his first love. Joseph and his fiancé, Eliza Roche, planned to be married in 1860. Sadly, in August 1860, before they got married, she became ill with pneumonia and also died.

In spite of his heart break and difficulties, Scriven remained devoted to Jesus. He spent the rest of his life in preaching, teaching, and helping others. He attempted to live out the Sermon on the Mount by giving or lending to anyone who asked. He sympathizing with all who were more unfortunate than himself. He sawed wood for the stoves of the physically handicapped and comforted the poor and mentally distressed. In 1869 he published a collection of 115 hymns.

In 1886, at the time of his death, he was very ill with fever. He was brought to a friend’s home to recover. The friend stayed with him until midnight and then withdrew to an adjoining room to pray. It was a very hot night, and Joseph apparently went outside to cool himself in the spring. He never came back! He died by drowning and his body was discovered about noon the next day. He was 66 years old. He was buried next to his second fiancé in her family cemetery near Bewdley. In recognition of his Christ like service a monument was erected in his honor at Port Hope, Ontario.

During his life of hardship and sacrificial service Joseph found one friend who stuck to him closer than a brother. That friend was Jesus! Joseph treasured the written promise that Jesus would never leave him or forsake him (Heb 13:5). Out of the crucible of his own personal experience Joseph wrote the following words which are now one of the most beautiful and famous hymns of all time. He wrote these words in 1855 to comfort his mother who still lived in Ireland. He did not seek any recognition for it, however, and his authorship was only discovered by accident shortly before his death. Ira Sankey added the melody to these famous words.

What a friend we have in Jesus, All our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry

Everything to God in prayer! Oh, what peace we often forfeit, Oh, what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations? Is there trouble anywhere?

We should never be discouraged—

Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Can we find a friend so faithful,

Who will all our sorrows share?

Jesus knows our every weakness; Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy-laden,

Cumbered with a load of care?

Precious Savior, still our refuge— Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In His arms He’ll take and shield thee, Thou wilt find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised Thou wilt all our burdens bear;

May we ever, Lord, be bringing

All to Thee in earnest prayer.

Soon in glory bright, unclouded, There will be no need for prayer— Rapture, praise, and endless worship Will be our sweet portion there.

“A man with many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Prov. 18:24)

PRAISE THE LORD!

THAT FRIEND IS JESUS!